Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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