What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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