I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
