my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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