Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
