your thong is hanging out like whoa
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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