The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The adults are the big ones right?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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