Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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