It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
