Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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