Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
