I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Let's paint friendship bongs
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
