Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
