there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
