I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
