playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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