Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
