..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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