The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
