Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
