I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
