Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
