On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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