No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
