Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You're like the curious george of whores
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
