i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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