I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize