all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
