Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
