four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Shame - the story of my life.
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