A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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