im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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