how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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