That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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