I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
