you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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