Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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