My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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