I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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