omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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