You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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