I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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