He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
