he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
