Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
