I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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