you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
