Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
