Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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