Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
